It bothers me how slow life progresses in all the ways that I desire.
Want to build a stable and successful business? Check back in 3-5 years.
Want to get a degree? Check back in 3-5 years!
Want to to slip and get a concussion and break your leg permanently for the rest of your life? 10 seconds.
Like why. That’s just frustrating. It feels like everything takes so painstakingly long to build, and only a fraction of that time to destroy and pulverize into dust. I kind of wish it was the opposite.
The reason this is on my mind is because I’m really, truly tired of school. I’m still working on my bachelors and there’s so much other stuff that I would like to do, and so many opportunities I’d rather be pursuing. And having to work while studying is the worst; caught in the middle with one foot in each in a constant balancing act.
It would be much easier to only focus on one thing. This is tiring. Draining.
And the worst part is, some unforeseen circumstances made me stop going to school for a period of about 2 years. Meaning I’m already 2+ years behind my peers at this point.
InshAllah this will be my last year, if I somehow manage to pass my current chemistry class, which I absolutely can’t stand as of this moment (it’s only been 2 weeks since the semester started).
To make matters worse, I’m currently studying biology which I don’t even want to do, but it’s too late to change my mind at this point and I have to go through with it. I’d much rather do something in marketing or business, but this is how it’s going to be because I’m not trying to start from square one again and collect more credits. So over credits and the whole damn system. Just. Let. Me. Graduate.
The rant is hereby officially over.
The main reason I wanted to share this, is because sometimes things suck and we have to let them just suck. This doesn’t come from a place of pessimism or negativity and whatnot; it comes more of a place of acceptance.
Yes, there’s nothing wrong with hustling and working hard, and spending your days being overly-productive and efficient to build and design your future. Being persistent, and positive and all that. It’s great, really. But some time, at some point, we also need to remind ourselves that life is not a rush to beat who we were yesterday.
Should we be always striving to become better? Of course. Should we beat ourselves if we completely fell short on certain things every once in a while? Absolutely not.
In these moments, we have to realize that the best thing to do, especially in the situations that frustrate us the most; we have to accept and let it be. Notice I didn’t say give up, I said accept and let be.
For instance in my situation, I know that I’m doing all I can; planned out all my credits, taking my classes, passing them and making the necessary progress to achieve my goal. But there are things that are out of my control. I cannot rewind back time and graduate on time with all my peers (nor is it fair of me to place this expectation on myself), and completing the remaining credits will take a lot more time. And that’s not something I can change. It’s out of my control. I let it be.
I did my part, now I let go and move on.
Sure I think about it sometimes (a lot actually, especially when stressing for an exam or a long essay like “damn it, wish I’d already graduated and don’t have to deal with this!”. But at the end of the day, I don’t beat myself about it, and it’s more of a fleeting thought, not a constant, throbbing, toxic reminder that I’m not where I want to be.
Everything is a process, and everyone’s process looks different. We need to accept ourselves for our differences in how we develop and grow as individuals. And at the pace which our lives unfold.
Our journeys are all so different, and we need to accept that about ourselves first and foremost. Everyone has a different “right age to graduate” or “right age to get married” or buy a house or move away from family and so on and so forth.
I’m putting this out there, just as a reminder for everyone to take a break from their “daily grind & hustle” and to just let things be for a moment.